Theee Retail Simps

Reviews

Theee Retail Simps Theeeeeee Retina Lamps 7″

The nerve of these Canucks! After their last record drew considerable ire from the venerable Sir Bobos, you’d think they’d have the decency to hang it up and leave this whole punk rock business to the professionals. But no, here’s two fresh piles of sub-par slop they’re serving up for us to choke down! I’m kidding, of course. I love this band. And while I may disagree with my chivalric colleague, I applaud his willingness to write a negative review. We can’t all like everything. I’ll also say this: 69 minutes is a lot of SIMPS. So, I really appreciate the concision of a 7” as a follow-up. And these two tracks are some of the best these dudes have laid down! “Quality at Your Feet” is almost a HOME BLITZ-ian mangled power pop number, and it features one of my favorite vocal performances from Joe—there’s a scream he gives at 1:40 into the song that makes me smile every time I hear it. “More Lies” is closer to standard SIMPS fare, borrowing heavily from VELVET UNDERGROUND, but by sticking to what they know best, they end up with one of the catchiest tracks in their catalogue. Once again, shout out to Goodbye Boozy for keeping the 7” alive. For my money, this one’s about perfect.

Theee Retail Simps Live on Cool Street LP

Montreal’s premier slop rock act returns with another heaping helping of loose proto-punk, this time ditching most of the mid-’60s R&B influence of their debut in favor of some late ’60s/early ’70s sounds. Thanks to some STONES-y ballads, a horn section (if you can call two dudes with three horns a section), backup singers, and some budget funk thrown in among the Raw Power-ed spin age blasters, Live on Cool Street has more of an AOR vibe. Even their VELVET UNDERGROUND influence seems to have shifted out more toward Loaded or solo LOU REED. It’s tempting to say they’ve matured, but of course they haven’t. Just listen to a track like “The River,” one of the aforementioned ballads (not to mention an album highlight), and you’ll hear what I’m talking about. The first fifteen seconds of the song seem to signal a new, gentler direction for the band, but then the vocals kick in and it’s clear these are the same greasy party rockers who brought you that last record. They’re just letting some of their dad-ish influences show. And it works! This record rules.

Theee Retail Simps Rubble / Jumpin’ Jack Off 7″

Snotty, psychopathic garage punk from Montreal’s THEE RETAIL SIMPS. Good shit, a lot more unruly than I have heard on previous releases from the band. Two tracks that somehow keep all moving parts together, starting with the killer opener “Rumble.” The production is filth of the highest order, and does not veer from the expected sleazy joy that I would expect from the good people at Goodbye Boozy, with “Jumpin’ Jack Off” in honor of Mick’s birthday to finish off the 45.