Claymore Crime Pays! LP

You know those stories you read in the papers? The ones about people who wake up after a traumatic incident and they speak in an accent they’ve never had before? Seems rare, right? Well, I can only assume that matey who sings in CLAYMORE has had this happen to him, because there is no earthly reason why anyone would pick to sound like this—every new syllable reveals new wonders as they are approached and attacked in untold and unpredictable ways. One minute it sounds like TOM WAITS doing a prank call as a British person, the next like Tim Armstrong being startled by a cold toilet seat. Truly, genuinely unbelievable. If the music wasn’t so by-the-books and unremarkable it might make this record interesting. However, it isn’t, so it’s not.