PLQMRX Upside Yer Head 12″
This record sucks so profoundly that I don’t have the words to express how pissed I am that I wasted 22 minutes of my finite lifetime listening to it. Look at the cover for some clues: we have two guys in gaudy vintage suits, clown sculptures, and a font from the Man’s Ruin Records design bible. If time stopped for you in 1995 and these dudes look like a chill time, go ahead and order the “Crackhead’s Bundle” of records, shirts, and shit from their Bandcamp. Crank it up and bond with your favorite estranged uncles over this overworked, overblown casserole of psych, funk, doom riffs, and noise rock. And please understand that they wear wacky costumes when playing live. I wish I could do a citizen’s arrest on guitarist (let me check the notes) Midnight Moses—that’s right, the members have goofy pseudonyms like vocalist Cleetus Alreetus Alrightus and drummer Vinniehana, rumored to be Vincent Signorelli of UNSANE—for egregious wah pedal abuse with intent to harm. The songs, from the bombastic opener “Us vs. Them” to the deeply stupid “Hundred Dollar Hot Dog,” are an unceasing blast of psyched-up wah soloing, distorted bass grooves, and groaning, growling vocals. It’s loud and unyielding, but in the most annoying way possible, like a guy on a bus screaming his best Jim Carrey impersonation in your face. They namecheck FLIPPER, BUTTHOLE SURFERS, and FUNKADELIC as influences, and sure, whatever, this shit kind of sounds like those bands, with touches of LAUGHING HYENAS, RED FANG, and COWS. But much, much worse. Reptilian has released some great records, but this is not one of them. I would honestly rather sit in silence than play this again.