Artless Boy With a Cunt 12″

I don’t know if it’s due to premature senility, living in Berkeley, or just plain spitefulness, but the older I get the more I find myself agreeing with Mykel Board’s views. Maybe it’s because the world sucks, and nothing the namby pamby peace punks do is going to change it. Anyway, here we have 6 raunchy but structurally diverse punkers and thrashers dealing with some of Mykel’s favorite themes, including self-righteous vegetarians and radfemme thought police. I almost died laughing when I first heard “Sisterhood is Powerful,” so I’d have to say this is a great mean-spirited record.

Artless Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood 12″

Well, actually this is half of a 12″, with an etching (come up and see my…?) of Mykel Board (the star of this disc?) on the backside. ARTLESS presents their version of thrash and punk, incorporating saxes (non-offensively?) and Mykel’s pseudo-conservative lyrics (“How Much Punk Rock Do You Hear in Russia?,” “We Want Nuclear War,” “We’re Republicans,” etc.). And hey, great liner notes!

Artless How Much Punk Rock Do You Hear in Russia? EP

No further explanation is needed about our dear friend Mykel Board’s insulting intent here. The title song is a droning yet rockin’ cover with a sax that isn’t bad at all; “How Much Punk Rock Do You Hear in Russia?” and “We Want Nuclear War” are remixed from the previously released German ARTLESS/GG ALLIN split EP. They sound much better here, and will probably go down in history as the two most witty punk rock things Mykel has ever done.

Artless / GG Allin & the Scumfucs split EP

A suitable mixture of retardation, one natural (G.G.), one contrived (ARTLESS). G.G.’s SCUMFUCS belt out a couple of sleazily recorded garage guitar classics like “Drink, Fight, and Fuc.” Mykel Board’s ART and ARTLESS perform some fast, tightly wound punk with a sarcastic Republican/Reaganoid stance. If anyone takes either of these “shocking” characters too seriously, they must be “dense-packed.”